Once we dispense with all the rules, the bible is actually quite entertaining—that is, the story of humankind struggling against an insane, megalomaniacal, childish reasonably powerful being is. Humankind’s indomitable (Jewish) spirit in the face of such overwhelming force is something to behold. How weak is the mind that chooses the side of God over the side of the humans?
Old Testament
Book Four: Numbers
Israel in the Wilderness of Sinai (cont’d)
Chapter 9: More of the collection of miscellaneous materials
The Journey from Sinai to Edom
Chapter 9 (cont’d): God’s Cloud leads the flock
Chapter 10: Preparation and departure from Sinai
Chapter 11: Rebellion in the Wilderness!
Chapter 12: A challenge to Moses’ authority
I had never heard this story before, about how they followed the cloud through the desert. When it came time for the community to move, God landed a cloud on the Tent. As long as the cloud was over the tent, they stayed. When the cloud moved off, they moved off after it. That was kind of cool; God really led them though the wilderness. However, hilariously, just a few verses later, in 10.29, Moses begs Hobab to come with them because he knows where to camp. Moses wants the human who is familiar with the desert to help them go the right way, so Moses can then go into the tent so God can tell them the right way. A little bit suspicious, huh?!
Starting in chapter 11, real conflict! Two problems are intertwined in this passage. First, the people of Israel once again (justifiably) are dissatisfied with God’s provisions. I think they’re right, and this has nothing to do with faith. As they argue, literally what is the point of following a god who just makes them starve out in the desert? Back in Egypt they had fish and cucumbers and water-melons. God reminds me a little of Kim Jong Il. He is providing them, instead of fish and cucumbers, with manna from heaven. So miraculous. Listen to what manna is—this is the actual biblical description: “The manna looked like coriander seed, the color of gum resin. The people went about collecting it, ground it up in hand-mills or pounded it in mortars, then boiled it in the pot and made it into cakes. It tasted like butter-cakes. When dew fell on the camp at night, the manna fell with it.” (Num.11.7–9.) That’s what the Israelites left Egypt for!
Second was a religious problem of prophets. People were claiming to get messages from God in their sleep. Well, only the Aaronite priests should be getting such messages, through Moses, right? Moses did something interesting but risky. He said why would he care about prophets? He doesn’t want to be the leader of the Israelites anyway—if God wants to talk through prophets, so be it. The interesting thing of course is that this story is really Moses debating what’s the best way to handle other people claiming to talk to God. And yet he says sure it’s fine! But they either are or they are not, right? The whole story doesn’t make sense.
It’s also interesting that the prophets are “in ecstasy,” which I take to mean something like Quakers quaking, or Pentecostals speaking in tongues. So what are we to take from this? If the prophets are receiving revelation, then Moses would have nothing to say about it anyway, and in that case it is interesting that they are in ecstasy because of it, something that’s never happened before. But if they’re not, then what does it mean for Moses to say “I wish that all the Lord’s people were prophets and that the Lord would confer his spirit on them all!” (Num.11.29.) I don’t know, it’s odd. The fact of the quaking seems to make them legitimate; there’s no discussion here whether they are really prophets or not.
God does another of his awesome insane crimes. He promises the complainers all the meat they can eat. Then he provides it, in the form of quails, ten to a person at least. Then just as they put the meat to their lips, he kills all of them! So they named the place Kibroth-hattaavah, or the Graves of Greed.
So, Aaron’s sister is Miriam. I don’t remember if I mentioned her; she was recognized as a prophetess in Exodus. She and Aaron go to Moses to complain that he’s not the only one that can talk to God; they should be recognized too. God gets mad at them and says that they are mere prophets, God speaks to Moses directly. Then he gives Miriam a skin disease, turning her skin as white as snow (an odd metaphor for the middle east in 3000 BC!). Moses begs God not to do it, and God says, okay, only for seven days.
I’m really happy to see that God has that old magic still in him. After Exodus and Leviticus, I was worried there may never be another interesting story in the whole bible.
—bibletoenail
Some notes/quotes:
“The Israelites themselves wept once again and cried, ‘Will no one give us meat? Think of it! In Egypt we had fish for the asking, cucumbers and water-melons, leeks and onions and garlic. Now our throats are parched; there is nothing wherever we look except this manna.’ (The manna looked like coriander seed, the color of gum resin. The people went about collecting it, ground it up in hand-mills or pounded it in mortars, then boiled it in the pot and made it into cakes. It tasted like butter-cakes. When dew fell on the camp at night, the manna fell with it.” THAT is the “manna from heaven.” Yum! —Num.11.4–9
“Moses said to the Lord, ‘Why hast thou brought trouble on thy servant? How have I displeased the Lord that I am burdened with the care of this whole people? Am I their mother? Have I brought them into the world, and am I called upon to carry them in my bosom, like a nurse with her babies, to the land promised by thee on oath to their fathers? Where am I to find meat to give them all? They pester me with their wailing and their “Give us meat to eat.” This whole people is a burden too heavy for me; I cannot carry it alone. If that is thy purpose form me, then kill me outright. But if I have won thy favor let me suffer this trouble at thy hands no longer.’” —Num.11.11–15
Interesting, prophets are a threat to the religion, so at this point the religion legitimizes prophets to say they are acting with the religion’s (God’s) approval.
God plays an amazing dirty trick on the complainers.
“The Lord will give you meat and you shall eat it. Not for one day only, nor for two days, nor five, nor ten, nor twenty, but for a whole month you shall eat it until it comes out at your nostrils and makes you sick.” —Num.11.18–20
"They fell into prophetic ecstasy, for the first and only time." —Num.11.25
“Are you jealous on my account? I wish that all the Lord’s people were prophets and that the Lord would confer his spirit on them all!” —Num.11.29
“That place is called Kibroth-hattavaavah [the Graves of Greed] because there they buried the people who had been greedy for meat.” —Num.11.34
“Moses was in fact a man of great humility, the most humble man on earth.” —Num.12.3
“With him I speak face to face, openly and not in riddles.” —Num.12.8
“Let her not be like something still-born, whose flesh is half eaten away when it comes from the womb.” —Num.12.12
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Don’t Even Bother
Old Testament
Book Four: Numbers
Israel in the Wilderness of Sinai (cont’d)
Chapter 5: A boring appendix of unrelated regulations
Chapter 6: The boring appendix continued
Chapter 7: Boring offerings of the tribal leaders at the consecration of the Tabernacle
Chapter 8: Another boring collection of miscellaneous materials
It’s really kind of pointless to try to find things to talk about for these chapters. Fortunately, the story is about to pick up again. In chapter 9, Israel moves once again. But for the time being, these chapters are mostly a rehashing of the rules from Exodus and Leviticus about adultery and malignant skin disease.
I visited a class one time that had a guest lecturer who was a rabbi. He said Judaism is the perfect religion for someone who is obsessive. Every minute detail means something. I can see how that would be true, reading these books. If one wanted to, one could spend a long time analyzing the minutia of how these rules differ from one iteration to the next, and theorizing about the difference. I just don’t care that much. It’s interesting, but it’s not something that is available to a first-time reader.
One or two moments are interesting. First is a long passage on how to handle a jealous husband accusing a wife of cheating when there is no proof. It’s impossible not to think about Terry Jones in Holy Grail explaining to the peasants how to tell if a woman is a witch. This method is not significantly less ignorant. But basically, if there’s no proof, then you wait till the baby is born (apparently that’s what we’re talking about--the wife gets pregnant and the husband doesn’t think it’s his). If it’s a miscarriage, then she cheated. If it’s born alive, then she did not cheat. Barbaric? Certainly. Ignorant? Absolutely. The Bible? Right on.
The second one concerns when a man has devoted himself to the Lord. Such a man is not supposed to shave, nor touch dead bodies. The burning question is, what happens if such a man is walking down the street, and a pedestrian drops dead and falls into him?! Well it takes two full columns of text to explain the procedure for this important, common situation.
Chapter 7 is an incredibly long (89 verses) and tedious description of the head of each of the twelve tribes giving gifts to the priests. Each one gives almost exactly the same thing, yet each one is described individually. The notes say the point here was apparently to emphasize that it’s important to give gifts to the priests.
Verse 89 of chapter 7 is one of those interesting moments of biblical scholarship. After all the above description, suddenly Moses heard “the Voice speaking from above the cover of the Ark.” It has nothing whatever to do with the surrounding text. The notes again say this is apparently a fragment with no relation to the surrounding context. The archaeology of the text is always fascinating to me, how these different pieces of text survived from different times. And, of course, it proves conclusively how utterly absurd it is to think of the Bible as anything other than an ancient set of mythologies, same as any other.
--bibletoenail
Book Four: Numbers
Israel in the Wilderness of Sinai (cont’d)
Chapter 5: A boring appendix of unrelated regulations
Chapter 6: The boring appendix continued
Chapter 7: Boring offerings of the tribal leaders at the consecration of the Tabernacle
Chapter 8: Another boring collection of miscellaneous materials
It’s really kind of pointless to try to find things to talk about for these chapters. Fortunately, the story is about to pick up again. In chapter 9, Israel moves once again. But for the time being, these chapters are mostly a rehashing of the rules from Exodus and Leviticus about adultery and malignant skin disease.
I visited a class one time that had a guest lecturer who was a rabbi. He said Judaism is the perfect religion for someone who is obsessive. Every minute detail means something. I can see how that would be true, reading these books. If one wanted to, one could spend a long time analyzing the minutia of how these rules differ from one iteration to the next, and theorizing about the difference. I just don’t care that much. It’s interesting, but it’s not something that is available to a first-time reader.
One or two moments are interesting. First is a long passage on how to handle a jealous husband accusing a wife of cheating when there is no proof. It’s impossible not to think about Terry Jones in Holy Grail explaining to the peasants how to tell if a woman is a witch. This method is not significantly less ignorant. But basically, if there’s no proof, then you wait till the baby is born (apparently that’s what we’re talking about--the wife gets pregnant and the husband doesn’t think it’s his). If it’s a miscarriage, then she cheated. If it’s born alive, then she did not cheat. Barbaric? Certainly. Ignorant? Absolutely. The Bible? Right on.
The second one concerns when a man has devoted himself to the Lord. Such a man is not supposed to shave, nor touch dead bodies. The burning question is, what happens if such a man is walking down the street, and a pedestrian drops dead and falls into him?! Well it takes two full columns of text to explain the procedure for this important, common situation.
Chapter 7 is an incredibly long (89 verses) and tedious description of the head of each of the twelve tribes giving gifts to the priests. Each one gives almost exactly the same thing, yet each one is described individually. The notes say the point here was apparently to emphasize that it’s important to give gifts to the priests.
Verse 89 of chapter 7 is one of those interesting moments of biblical scholarship. After all the above description, suddenly Moses heard “the Voice speaking from above the cover of the Ark.” It has nothing whatever to do with the surrounding text. The notes again say this is apparently a fragment with no relation to the surrounding context. The archaeology of the text is always fascinating to me, how these different pieces of text survived from different times. And, of course, it proves conclusively how utterly absurd it is to think of the Bible as anything other than an ancient set of mythologies, same as any other.
--bibletoenail
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Into the Woods
As you can see I did not finish the bible in the year. I’m changing my goal a little bit. I’m still going to finish it, but it’s going to take me some time. I’ll read a book whenever I feel like it. I’ve started Numbers now. It is starting out as insanely boring as the previous books, but there you go.
"Careful the things you say; children will listen." --Into the Woods
Old Testament
Book Four: Numbers
Israel in the Wilderness of Sinai
Chapter 1: A boring census of the tribes
Chapter 2: The boring arrangement of the tribes for encampment or march
Chapter 3: The boring appointment and enumeration of the Levites
Chapter 4: A boring alternative account of the assignment of Levitical duties
There is really nothing to talk about for these chapters. After about 12 chapters in this book, they will take a journey, so hopefully something interesting will happen then, but for the time being we’re just taking censuses and delegating duties. Let me just describe what this book is about. Moses and the tribes are still in the wilderness, around the “Tent of the Presence.” God gives them new sets of rules about how to take down and set up the tent, what tribes are responsible for what, and so on. Then later I think there are going to be more, random rules.
For a scholar, as with several parts previously, I think this book might be interesting. But what is important to note is that the book is interesting as a historical document, but as always, as the word of God it is absurd. Even at this late date, book four, it still contradicts itself from page to page. At one place, for instance, Moses counts 2300 people, then the next page he counts 2270. Going forward, some calculations will be based on the 2300 number, some the 2270!
Here’s another question: why in the world does God need Moses to do a census? Is this one of the many things that Mr. All-mighty is incapable of doing for himself? At any rate, the rules are apparently a little contradictory regarding who is supposed to do what. The notes say this may point to an internal struggle between the various factions of the priestly tribe. That kind of stuff is interesting, an archaeological study of the politics of the time.
Anyway, I won’t bore you or myself with any details of these four chapters. The tribes are arranged around the tent. The Levites are mostly in charge of taking care of the Ark and the tent. Anyone else who even lays eyes on it is put to death. Then there is another group, the Kohathites (Kohath was the son of one of them, I’m not going to bother finding it) that is responsible for carrying the Ark, but they aren’t allowed to look at or touch it. So the Levites first must wrap it up. One interesting detail, they wrap it in porpoise skin. Where one gets a porpoise skin in the middle of the desert is a mystery.
One last interesting detail. “Numbers” is the name of this book in Christian bibles, so named based on the numerical “accuracy” of the book. In the Jewish version, however, this book is called “In the Wilderness,” after the first line of the book.
Oh, and one last last thing. Moses counts an absurd 600,000 people in the group traveling around. It is utterly impossible for that many people to be traveling around the desert. The note says that the census was possibly taken well after the conquest of Canaan.
Anyway, I won’t bore you further.
--bibletoenail
"Careful the things you say; children will listen." --Into the Woods
Old Testament
Book Four: Numbers
Israel in the Wilderness of Sinai
Chapter 1: A boring census of the tribes
Chapter 2: The boring arrangement of the tribes for encampment or march
Chapter 3: The boring appointment and enumeration of the Levites
Chapter 4: A boring alternative account of the assignment of Levitical duties
There is really nothing to talk about for these chapters. After about 12 chapters in this book, they will take a journey, so hopefully something interesting will happen then, but for the time being we’re just taking censuses and delegating duties. Let me just describe what this book is about. Moses and the tribes are still in the wilderness, around the “Tent of the Presence.” God gives them new sets of rules about how to take down and set up the tent, what tribes are responsible for what, and so on. Then later I think there are going to be more, random rules.
For a scholar, as with several parts previously, I think this book might be interesting. But what is important to note is that the book is interesting as a historical document, but as always, as the word of God it is absurd. Even at this late date, book four, it still contradicts itself from page to page. At one place, for instance, Moses counts 2300 people, then the next page he counts 2270. Going forward, some calculations will be based on the 2300 number, some the 2270!
Here’s another question: why in the world does God need Moses to do a census? Is this one of the many things that Mr. All-mighty is incapable of doing for himself? At any rate, the rules are apparently a little contradictory regarding who is supposed to do what. The notes say this may point to an internal struggle between the various factions of the priestly tribe. That kind of stuff is interesting, an archaeological study of the politics of the time.
Anyway, I won’t bore you or myself with any details of these four chapters. The tribes are arranged around the tent. The Levites are mostly in charge of taking care of the Ark and the tent. Anyone else who even lays eyes on it is put to death. Then there is another group, the Kohathites (Kohath was the son of one of them, I’m not going to bother finding it) that is responsible for carrying the Ark, but they aren’t allowed to look at or touch it. So the Levites first must wrap it up. One interesting detail, they wrap it in porpoise skin. Where one gets a porpoise skin in the middle of the desert is a mystery.
One last interesting detail. “Numbers” is the name of this book in Christian bibles, so named based on the numerical “accuracy” of the book. In the Jewish version, however, this book is called “In the Wilderness,” after the first line of the book.
Oh, and one last last thing. Moses counts an absurd 600,000 people in the group traveling around. It is utterly impossible for that many people to be traveling around the desert. The note says that the census was possibly taken well after the conquest of Canaan.
Anyway, I won’t bore you further.
--bibletoenail
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