Old Testament
Book Four: Numbers
Israel in the plains of Moab (cont'd)
Chapter 25: Apostasy
to the Moabite gods
Chapter 26: The
second census
Chapter 27: Women’s
right to receive property in the promised land
Chapter 27 (cont'd): Moses’
successor is appointed
Chapter 28: The
sacrificial calendar
The Israelites are insane, but cool. Their motto is “fuck you, God.” And God like a little bitch runs after them for approval,
then gets mad and punishes them.
So, right after Balaam blesses them over and over, they go
into “Shittim” and begin having sex with the Moabite women, and prostrate
themselves before the gods of Moab.
They’re shameless. Interestingly,
when they get in trouble, the charge is religious disloyalty, NOT sexual
immorality! The note says, “although in
the fertility cults of Canaan sexual activity was part of the ritual.” Man, what happened to fertility cults? How come all we have to choose from today is
Judaism, Christianity, or Islam, etc.?
Lame.
Wow this chapter got insane.
The notes say there might be two separate stories here, because it
started talking about the Moab women but it changed to Midianite women. This second story is awesome. The Israelites are all crying in front of the
Tent of the Presence, presumably because of all the sex they had with the
Moabite women. One guy, right in front
of all of them, takes a Midianite woman into his own family, presumably to have
sex with her! Someone from Israel sees
him do this, and takes a spear and follows them into the inner room and he
“transfixed the two of them, the Israelite and the woman, pinning them
together”! Num. 25.8. How gruesome is that! Awesome.
Then, because the guy killed these two, the plague
stopped. Makes no sense. There was no plague before, but it had killed
24,000 people. So, the notes think there
were two separate stories here. Even
this far into the bible, we still aren’t to the point where there can be any
coherence whatsoever. I had imagined
that as the books got more recent they would get smoother, but that’s not the
case. But maybe all of these were
written at the same time.
Oh, there’s something more going on here. The notes seem to think that this guy didn’t
just take the Midianite woman to have sex with her, it was part of the sex-cult
worshiping. So he wasn’t just fucking
her, it was a ritual, on an altar and so on!
That’s the reason for the “inner sanctum.”
Wow, then God tells Moses that he really likes what Phinehas
son of Eleazar, son of Aaron, the guy who transfixed the pair, did, and he
specifically commends him for displaying the “same jealous anger that moved
me”—that is really hardcore. It can’t
get much worse than that, God specifically rewarding someone for killing
someone who disobeyed God. These are the
passages that zealots are made of.
The man’s name was Zimri son of Salu. The woman’s name was Cozbi daughter of
Zur. Cosby!
Interesting case—one of the families of Israel, in the tribe
of Joseph, Zelophehad son of Hepher had no sons, only daughters; their names were
Mahlah, Noah, Hoglah, Milcah, and Tirzah.
Num. 26.33. So, the girls go to
see Moses at the Tent of the Presence, and say it’s unfair that they lose their
inheritance because there are no male survivors. Amazingly, God agrees, and changes the law so
that from then on if there are no male survivors, the women will inherit.
Then God appoints Joshua as Moses’ successor. God tells Moses he’s about to die. “Go up this mountain, Mount Abarim, and look
out over the land which I have givne to the Israelites. Then, when you have looked out over it, you
shall be gathered to your father’s kin like your brother Aaron; for you and
Aaron disobeyed my command when the community disputed with me in the
wilderness of Zin; you did not uphold my holiness before them at the
waters.” Num. 27.12–14. What bullshit. This is MOSES. But God doesn't give a shit.
Chapter 28 is the “sacrificial calendar.” This has been gone over many times; the notes
say this is the definitive version.
--bibletoenail
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